Am I the only one who is sick to death of seeing Bungie produce nothing but Halo games? I mean, yes, they’ve been the definition of the first person shooter for a decade, and they’re undeniably great games, but for God’s sake, I can’t even begin to imagine what those too-talented programmers, artists, and producers could do with all that know-how. Think about it:
Halo gave the gaming community something they’d seen before—just another simple first person shooter, or so they thought. Who would have guessed that the game would take off the way it did? Nobody, that’s who. Don’t question it.
Ever.
Of course, the greatest feature of the game was… everything. The story was original and solid, the enemies were challenging and had great A.I., the environments were better than had been seen before on the Xbox, and the multiplayer used bloodshed to bring people together in ways previously thought to be impossible. In short, it was 1999’s attempt at perfection, and it came damn close.
With Halo 2, we can see a decided shift in focus: the multiplayer took up much more of the spotlight, letting the story, though brilliant, fall out of focus in the eyes of the modern gamer. Sure, everyone the campaign… eventually. I remember when I picked up my copy—that day was probably the biggest, most blown up launch date at that point in time. I went straight to Best Buy with a car load of people directly after school, bought the game, went directly back to my house, and barely stopped playing the game for 3 days. My basement was packed for those three days, our eyes glued to the screen with a mixture of adolescent wonder and digital superglue.
Like this, but with energy swords.
It was days before I played the campaign. Honestly, it just couldn’t hold a candle to the originality of the first title. It tried, but in my opinion (the only opinion I take into consideration as I write this) it simply wasn’t as good. What, you might ask, took our eyes off of the story of the Master Chief, The Arbiter, and a big gooey Venus Flytrap/Tentacle Monster?
Seriously, just what the fuck is that thing supposed to be?
The answer is as simple as it is brilliant: Xbox Live.
So many people bought Xbox Live for the capability of playing Halo 2 online that Bungie probably got a big enough bonus from Microsoft to buy their own quiet little island off the coast of Mexico and do nothing but shoot tequila and arm-wrestle for the next couple of years.
Once they shook the hangovers off, though, they set about creating Halo 3, and that’s when I got lost. It wasn’t because of how complex and uninteresting the storyline became, or the graphics that were great, but not awesome; no, it really wasn’t the game’s fault at all. This is a clear cut case of, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Sorry to break it to you, Halo, baby. I’m just ready to move on.
It got a little tiresome to be playing a better version of the game I’d beaten twice already. The enemies were the same; the battles got a little more epic, but they were nothing to write home about; the weapons were all-too familiar, and, once again, the most focus was placed on the multiplayer facet of the game. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing Halo and its brethren online, gunbutting unsuspecting fools from the shadows as I ran around the level whilst blissfully free of people screen-raping me. It just got stale after a few years. There were better, different games coming out, games where I shot more than 3 kinds of enemies. It was too appealing to move on, to experience the wealth of new games coming out all around me. Halo, though fun to bust out once in a while, was placed back in its slot on the shelf.
Then came Halo Wars, a strategy game based on a first person shooter. The concept just didn’t seem to impress many people; I don’t believe I’ve heard a single person talk about it since it came out. I never played it, and I probably never will—strategy games just don’t feel right if I don’t have a mouse in my hand.
Halo: ODST came next, and though it returned to the roots of the series, it made the dreadful mistake of returning directly to those roots. It was fun, but hardly original. Instead of playing as the nigh-invincible Master Chief, you merely took over the consciousness of a few average special forces troops. Essentially, you had the same capabilities as before, but now you were a little weaker, a little slower, and had a futuristic night-vision helmet. Cool, but just another rung on the ladder.
I’m serious, folks. If I don’t hear Halo: Reach being praised as the greatest fucking thing since sliced bread, I’m done. Just done. I’m gonna walk right into Bungie’s corporate office in Washington, kick in a few doors, bitch slap a few nerds to boost my confidence, and get right in the CEO’s face. I will then calmly, collectedly, and in a very civil manner proceed to kick him in the balls until I’m sure they’ve become nothing more than testicle pâté. Then I’m going to stand over his head and squat down, stand up, squat down, stand up, and then frantically attempt to escape the building despite the obvious attention that these actions would garner. Shit, I might even get arrested for doing something like that.
No, seriously, it’s like pâté.
Bottom line, Internet: Bungie should at least attempt to make something else with all their talent, time, and money. Instead of cranking out more Halo carbon-copies, why not try and get a third-person adventure game up and running? Maybe an RPG? Hell, even a farming game would be better, and anyone who’s read my previous entries on this site will know exactly how I feel about those.
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